If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
