Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
