She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
