Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
