there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
