Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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