Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
