we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You're like the curious george of whores
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize