youre lurking in front of me
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
