Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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