i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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