just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize