It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
