actually, I'm a sock model
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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