U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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