5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
