Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
