I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
