Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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