Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
