ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Pants are for mortals
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
