forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
