Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
The uberlube is also flammable
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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