note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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