You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
