i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
