just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
