is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
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We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
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There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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