if you like me you must not know who I am
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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