Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
