you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
