I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
