So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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