ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
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We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
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he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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