I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
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I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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