so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I wish i was in the wii world.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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