so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
