I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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