"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Swine flu is the new snow day.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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