Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
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It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
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While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
The power of my boobs compel you
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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