she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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