If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
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