no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
