I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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