I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
