we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Randomize
