belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
