I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
