just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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