Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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