yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
