I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
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All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
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so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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