no. you can't hotbox the world.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
