Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
