Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I'm really busy with my period
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