You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I looked at my own cervix.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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