I'm jealous of your bromance
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
